Category: Joke Board
NSA PUBLISHES TIPS ON HAVING MORE EXCITING PHONE SEX by Lee Camp, bigfib.com
After illegally listening in on hundreds of thousands of phone calls in the U. S., the National Security Agency published a 500-page document on how citizens can have more entertaining phone sex. A spokesman for the NSA said, "We're sick and tired of listening to bad phone sex. Ninety percent of the people we listen to could easily spice up their conversations by following our easy tips, and more kinky verbal sex benefits everyone involved--the man, the woman, and the five agents listening in and recording the call."
Here is just a small sample of the advice given in the NSA's document:
#1 – Never giggle or laugh! All parties need to take the sex seriously.
#7 – Never say "Did you hear that? " after you hear strange clicks or buzzing. That's just us enjoying your call. Every time you stop, we get frustrated, and you don't want to see us when we're frustrated.
#873 – Definitely do consider bringing in homoerotic fantasies. We have agents of every sexual persuasion who will enjoy your calls.
#1,142 – Never yell "Oh God, I love it when you play dirty like the National Security Agency!" We find that offensive.
#24,502 – If you hear us start to moan, don't get nervous. That means you're doing a good job. You're a patriotic American. We may even send you a medal.
ahh, beautiful. lol
Lmfao Becky!
Heheheheheheh. That's great. And disturbing.
Damn this one makes one think about what they say on the phone.
Okay, but shouldn't this post go in the "let's talk" board, as advice from the high and mighty? <grin>
I was kind of connfused about that myswelf.
that's great!